My new address is in hell

Holy shit!

That place is a damn sauna.

A Sweat Lodge.

An oven.

Hell.

I could not believe how hot the new place was today.

I have no idea what we can do about that at this point in time.

There is no central air conditioning and only one tiny window unit in my future bedroom.

Burning Down the House

We signed our lease today.

Thanks to my mother-in-law who helped us pay the deposit.

The house isn't that bad. It is small.

We never went in the driveway when we went to look at it. we just parked in front of the house.

The driveway goes around an ugly burned out house. It's really unattractive.

It's also embarrassing. I will be totally embarrassed for people to see that.

The train tracks are pretty damn close. I didn't realize how close.

I am really not happy about the neighborhood at all.

In fact, the landlady told me that Pizza Hut refuses to deliver there because it is a 'bad' neighborhood.

Just fucking lovely.

I really did move into the Ghetto.

I'm thinking about buying a Pit Bull, a Rottweiler and a shotgun.

I talked her into letting me keep my cat. I am happy about that!

We got the keys and can start moving in tomorrow.

But... we haven't packed anything yet.

Guess we better get our asses in gear.

I don't want to be like this

Things have been so chaotic lately. Seems anything that could possibly go wrong has.

I am just so unhappy.

I hate this.

I hate that I am always coming across as a miserable human being to people. I don't want to be that way.

I want to be happy.

I just.... I don't know how to be happy.

I mean, there are times I feel happy. But they don't last.

I want to know how to make it last?