3 am and thinking of Savannah

Yep, that's right. It is exactly 3am. What am I doing? Reading blogs.

I have no reason for being up this late. I went to bed an hour and a half ago and could not sleep. I was off of work today, which is my usual excuse.

I am tired, just can not sleep. I am afraid to take the Tylenol PM medicine this late, afraid I'll sleep all day.

What is wrong with me? I just have too much running through my mind.

anyway.....

I tried putting the brace on Savannah tonight. Now that she's not sick anymore,there is no reason not to. Did not go over well. I ended up having to go in there to rescue her.

I took it off, tossed it in the floor and snuggled her.

She meanwhile was casting evil, nose running, sobbing looks at the monstrous contraption now on lying on the floor.

I will have to work with it tomorrow to find a way for it to fit her comfortably. I HAVE to do this.

I will say, her legs were spread almost out to the side when I took it off and she screamed and screamed when she finally straightened them out.

My poor, poor baby.

Can I just let this go? Wait til she's older? NO! I can not do that. I also can not make her miserable. What's a mommy to do? Do I drug my baby? You know, Tylenol or something to help her sleep so she will wear it for at least 6-8 hrs a night?? I know they want more, but if I an get that much I would be satisfied.

I will have to find a way.

I WILL NOT make my baby go through another surgery.

I WILL NOT make my baby wear another cast for months.

We can beat this.

Please, oh please, God, let us beat this....

Please let my baby walk....

Please let her be okay!!

It's been a few...

It has been a few days since I posted. Things have been hectic.

I am finally feeling better. I had been sick for 3 weeks! Still coughing and got some sinus stuff going on, but definitely better.

My baby girl was REALLY sick. Her fever was so high it scared the piss out of me. 104.6 (I thought it was .8, but hubby says .6). Now, this was under the arm W/. A digital thermometer. There are different views on the adding a degree. My PEDs have always told me to add a degree. We got it down by taking her out of the heat and taking her clothes off and using a cold rag. She had a bad cold and was also getting 2 big teeth in. My poor miserable baby. She is also feeling better. Just a slight runny nose.

There has been a court date, a visit to my state capital to go to the Division of Vital records to get my birth certificate. Visits to DMV.

You now need your birth certificate to renew your license. They said since the terrorist attack, that when people come in they want to see their birth certificate. They only have to do it once. Hence, the trip a couple hours away to get mine.

My dad gave me a 95 Dodge Caravan. YEAH!!! It runs great and looks nice, too. (Knock on wood) I now have reliable transportation that all of my kids can fit into!

Savannah had an appt w/ the orthopedic surgeon. Shit. Her right hip socket is still underdeveloped and they gave us another brace, a Wheaton, this time. Dr. Romness said that he's ssay she needed another surgery. Shit. Shit. Fuck.

Kenny said there is no way, that she just needs time tfor it to develop. I hope and pray and he is right.

I don't know if I could handle my baby being out into another body cast and going through another surgery. I can't imagine my poor baby not being able to move and play like she is. It breaks my heart.

Well, I am feeling better, so I will be back to write more often!
Hubby just brought me a Baby Ruth and a cherry slurpee and we are going to watch 'The Exorcism of Emily Rose'.

Good night all.....

If only....

Garfield is so wise......

Gotta love him!

My 6 year old spent the night with my husbands sister. He loves it over there.

My SIL has 3 boys. Twins that are 2 and their little brother who is exactly 1 yr younger.

My husband was on the phone with his sister and this is what was going on.

Z, one of the twins, threw the other phone behind the sofa. SIL asked my son to please go get it for her. He goes behind there and the 3 boys follow him.

First J does and starts screaming. H and Z also go back there and start crying while Joshua tries to make them get from behind there.

So there he is with 3 screaming and crying babies.

He looks at my SIL and says to her in a very grown up voice and serious voice:

"You're gonna have to get off the phone. I can't handle all these babies by myself."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ROFLMBFAO!!!

Kenny says his sister was laughing so hard she almost pissed herself and could not hang up the phone.

God, I love that smart ass boy of mine!

Guess I shouldn't write....

I guess I should not write anything when I am drugged up. I should go back and delete the last post, but I'm sure it's too late.

I'm still coughing. My throat is hurting from coughing, but there's been no more bleeding.

There is such a sad movie on Lifetime. "For the Love of a Child". SO HORRIBLE!!!

I have to go to work, so I guess I'll have to record it to see the rest.

We watched "Must Love Dogs" last night. Or was it the night before? I can't remember. It was such a good movie!!! Kenny didn't want to see it, being a "Chick Flick". He was surprised. He was laughing. Especially when she showed up for her first blind date. LMAO He was rooting for John Cusack the whole time. I was, too, but have a soft spot for Dermot Mulrooney. He is such a cutie!!! Great Movie. Diane Keaton and John both did a great job.

We saw "Dark Water" the night before that movie. I liked it. The ending sucked.

Time to sign in for work.

Jumbled thoughts.....

I am not feeling well and am under the influence of cold meds and ginger ale.....

Work went better today. Call wise. I was happy about that.

Hubby worked a lot today. They just do not appreciate him.

Joshua fell sleep before dinner. 3rd night in a row. Now we have dinner late, wait for his dad to get home. So, we are use to this. He is usually running around like crazy. He had been feeling bad. Him and his dad both had not been feeling well this week. One of the jackasses gave it to me. If this keeps up next week, I will schedule a PED appt and probably get him back into the cardiologist for a check-up.

Talked to my dad on the phone. (Not a big deal to some. But, this is another blog entry. We went all my life w/out talking until last spring.) Talked some about my half-brother. Finally got the name of the book that was written about a crime he did. I ordered it off of Amazon. Figured it would be good to show to the family, you know, like our 'family bible'. HAHAHAHAHA One of the reviews, the poster said it should have been named: "The 3 stooges plan a hit". HAHAHAHA Anyway, I just want to read it to see if he was as involved as he said he was. You know how some people can exaggerate. He has been on current affair, Americas most wanted. Wonderful gene pool, huh?

40 mins working and not 1 freaking call!

Raining and thundering tonight. Lousy weather.

huh....

weather alert just popped up on TV. 'Severe Thunderstorm Cells'. Stay away from windows. Gust like 50 miles an hour. Crap. It's where my dad lives. He lives in trailer. High winds and trailer parks do not go well together.

It has been been great to finally have a dad. I have learned a lot.

I was conceived in the back of a bad-ass GTO w/ 'Born Loser' painted on it.

If only they knew they were cursing me before I was even a zygote.....

Crappy day....

I am having a crappy day. Seems like that most days. sigh.....

I woke up w/ a headache, possibly a migraine. I feel sick to my stomach. BLAH!!!!!!

No OTC meds have helped.

Work is depressing me.

Taking calls to enroll people in a drug plan. Yeah. Right. Everyone is pissed and upset. I feel horrible. I need to become cold hearted to do this line.

Those fuckers.

I need my happy pills. Really. Got some???

Slacking...

I know I have been slacking. I guess I can't think of much to write about. I lead a boring life. LOL

I decided I want to lose weight. I need to. I want to.

There is a problem. I love eating. I eat junk. Hate veggies. I am a junk-food junkie! I have absolutely NO will power.

I went back to the diet caffeine-free cokes today.

The pkgs of Hershey Kisses, 3 Musketeers and Paydays kinda ruined it......

so much for that idea

I have a headache....

It feels like a vice is squeezing the sides of my head. My forehead feels like it is going to burst.

please... No migraine....I hope this is not he beginning of one.

My eyes hurt.

waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

I have taken 3 Tylenol. Rapid release. IT HAS NOT HELPED!!!!!!!

I want some drugs.

Good drugs.

Pain killers.

vicodan, percocet, darvocet, ultram (that is the SHIT there!!!!)

I'd even settle for some piddly Tylenol 3 w/ codeine!!

I have a feeling it's going to be a long night......

cold rag on head.......

Listening to my hubby snoring like a damn freight train and wanting to kill him in his sleep.....

hmph......

bitching about it did not help either....

go figure

Its My hubbys Birthday!

Today is Kennys' 33rd birthday! He was suppose to be off work, but of course they screwed him again. As they always do.

I hate his job. I hate his bosses. They all suck!!!

They promised 3 days off this week, and does he get them??? NO! Fuckers are making him work everyday! He could possibly be off Wednesday, but he would have to work a double Thursday. What the hell is wrong with these people??

He makes salary. No overtime. His pay last week averaged out to $6.50 an hr!

I hope he finds another job. There is a chance of one. It was offered to him, but they are building the the place still,

I hate them taking advantage of him. Its just not right!

Happy Birthday Honey!

Stop being such a baby....

I mean, for goodness sakes, you WILL BE 14 months old on the 10th!

I don't understand. All of the other children her age seem like such toddlers! Little kids! Savannah still seems like a baby.

Is it the lack of hair?

The not walking?

I know she is delayed in walking. The ortho surgeon said it could be up to 22 months before she does. But, still.....

Yes. I did expect her to come out of 4 hip surgeries and 5 full-body casts, shake out her legs and start running marathons. She is ADVANCED, you know.

sigh......

I did have high expectations. She took to sitting up quickly. Then the crawling was not TOO far behind. STANDING(!!!) came next.

Today she held on the her crib railing and took 2-3 steps to the side!!! Baby, we have hit cruising!

She still gets the bottle. I am such a failure. I SWORE she would be off of it at 1 year!! She just drank out of her cup today. She has not been interested it it before. But, I am a failure.

Is it because she is small?

I don't know.

I think it's all of it combined.

sigh.....

I know I should not be rushing her and enjoying her. I do!!!

She just seems like the runt, ya' know???